The Death of Bate Chanthaboune

On September 20, 2026, the father of my children passed away after a very short and aggressive battle with cancer.

Everything happened so quickly. I knew he was sick, but I don’t think I understood how little time there would be. I am still in disbelief, and I wasn’t prepared for how deeply his passing would affect me.

We shared a history. We were young together once. We became parents together. Life eventually carried us in different directions, and he went on to build a life with the woman who has been his partner for so many years. My heart is with her today. She has lost the person with whom she shared her everyday life, and I can only imagine the depth of that loss.

My heart is with our children, who have lost their father, and our grandchildren, who have lost their grandfather.

And then there is the granddaughter who is still on her way into this world, whom he will never have the chance to meet.

That thought breaks my heart.

I tried to find a picture of him today and realized just how much time has passed. Somewhere along the years, I lost many of those old photographs. The only one I could find was of our son sitting in his lap, and it doesn’t even show his face.

There was something about that that made this feel even more real.

So much time has passed since those early years, but time does not erase the fact that once, we shared a life. He held our babies. We became parents together. There are parts of my story that will always be connected to his.

My heart is also with his family. They have already endured so much loss. There were six siblings, and with his passing, they have now lost three of them. Only three remain. Some families are asked to carry far more grief than anyone should have to bear, and I am thinking especially of them today.

I wish I had gotten to say goodbye.

I think that is one of the things hurting the most right now. When something happens this quickly, you realize there were words you thought there would still be time to say.

Tonight, I am going to light incense and a candle for him and say a prayer. Maybe that will be my way of saying goodbye in the only way I can now.

So today, I simply want to honor him.

For the years we shared.
For the children we brought into this world.
For the family that grew from them.
For the life he built and the woman who stood beside him.
For his family who loved him from the beginning.
And for everyone who is hurting because he is gone.

I hope there is peace where you are now.

Rest peacefully.

You will always be part of our story.